


The past is a mirror

by GreenPhoenix



Series: Nobody knows [4]
Category: Law & Order: SVU, Oz (TV)
Genre: Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-21
Updated: 2014-12-21
Packaged: 2018-03-02 15:18:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 824
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2816912
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GreenPhoenix/pseuds/GreenPhoenix
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Elliot talks to Huang about his past with Chris, and his new love for Toby.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The past is a mirror

“I’m in love,” said Elliot Stabler seriously.  
“That’s good, right?” said George Huang.  
“With a man,” added Elliot.  
“You have my interest. And for the record so am I.”  
“Who is it doc?”  
“An FBI agent, his name’s Dan. We met while I was profiling a very nasty killer.”  
“I met Toby on a case.”  
“Okay. Seems like you and I have more in common than I thought. “  
“He’s an ex-con. You can’t tell anyone about that.”  
“I wont. Do you know what you’re getting in to?”  
“Yes. He’s reformed now. He used to be my brother’s lover while he was in prison.”  
“How very Greek drama of you. Does he love you or your face?”  
“Both I think. Me and Chris were nothing alike.”  
“I know that. You used to look up to him when you were young.”  
“Yes. He was exciting and he led me into all these adventures with girls. We even got matching tattoos while drunk in Vegas with one of his wives. I never saw the sociopath in him. Not to begin with anyway.”  
“When did you?”  
“It was when he nearly killed his stepfather. I saw it first hand at thanksgiving dinner. The guy insulted Chris for being into guys, and he beat him bloody in front of his own mother. I stopped him or he would have killed him. I didn’t see Chris until he was in prison after that. I didn’t even go to his funeral. Only Bonnie and Toby went to it. Toby was in chains, and Bonnie cried her eyes out all the time said Toby.”  
“He was conflicted about being bi?”  
“Very. He was raised to believe real men don’t love other men, but he did. It was probably why he killed those guys.”  
“Makes sense. He killed what he didn’t like about himself. How do you feel about loving a man after that?”  
“I’m not as conflicted as he was, but I’m still confused. I messed around with some guy in college, but that was mostly experimental. This is serious. I feel attracted only to Toby and I don’t feel anything for other men. I still find women attractive though. “  
“Have you told Kathy?”  
“Yes. Not about his prison past or Chris. She took it well.”  
“You were serious about her. Twenty years and four kids is not a one night stand.”  
“No. She wasn’t Dani. It was real, and we’re still friends I hope.”  
“Then make it work. Does Toby have kids?”  
“Yes. Two. I’ve seen them and I think they like me. He hasn’t seen my kids yet.”  
“There’s time. You can break it to them slowly.”  
“I will. They need never know about his past. Well, Maureen’s an adult now, but Kathleen could never handle that.”  
“She’s acting out.”  
“Yeah, typical teenage girl stuff. “  
“Are you okay Ell?”  
“Yeah, doc. It helped to talk to you. Good luck with your guy.”  
Huang sighed. “Thanks. He works long hours, and so do I. We barely see each other, but we’ll make it work.”  
“I can relate,” said Elliot. He worked long hours too, and Toby was busy with his work and volunteer work, and trying to be a good father.

*  
Toby slept peacefully beside him, Elliot traced the lines of his face with his hands.  
Toby stirred. “Ell?”  
“I just thought about you and Chris.”  
“Oh.”  
“How could you let him touch you with hands that had killed people?”  
“It was easy. It was Oz, so you had to rely on your instincts. I never thought he’d hurt me.”  
“But he did,” said Elliot sadly.  
“Yes, and part of me thought I deserved it, just like Vern’s abuse. I knew Chris killed my ex-lovers and part of me reveled in being so adored.”  
“That’s not sane.”  
“No. It was Oz and other rules applied.”  
“I get that. I knew Chris, and he was deeply disturbed.”  
“Yes. But if you love someone you have to take the good with the bad.”  
“Even if he was a serial killer?”  
“Yes. I knew he could protect me, and in his weird way he did.”  
“I promised to keep that up. But I won’t kill for you.”  
“You won’t need to. All my enemies are dead, courtesy of Chris. “ He sounded proud and bitter at once.  
Elliot didn’t flinch, but caressed Toby’s hands, hands that had killed and soothingly comforted Holly through her nightmares. Hands that had touched his most intimate places seductively. Hands that knew him as well as they’d known his brother, his evil reflection. The devil to his angel, the bad to his good.  
“I love you,” said Toby. “You’re a better man than him, and saner. But I will always love his memory. He made me what I am. Do you think we can deal with that?”  
“I’ll try for our sake, I do love you Toby. “  
They kissed and Elliot let Toby’s hands and mouth chase his doubts away.


End file.
